Huzzah.

What's 4/20 without a little grass?

Yes, it is the infamous grass and leaves I picked up whilst in the Quad last night.

And yes, it is disgusting and gross of me to take a picture of it.

But, then how else would I be able to make my lame marijuana/grass/420 joke I've been working on since last year, huh?

Doot.

Just bust a tunic.

Woo.

Everyone should watch 13 Going on 30. It made me want to dance around and stuff. And I never dance. Except when super drunk...almost like now. Thank god for spell check.

Gross.

My English teacher has reallllllly hairy ears. He's not even that old. He's probably in his mid 50's at the most. I just stare at them all class, he probably thinks I am a very creepy.

I swear, they are like Hobbit ears. It looks like cotton is billowing out of them. Wait, do Hobbits even have hairy ears? I don't remember, but I don't think so.

It's like he has Hobbit feet coming out of his ears.

My soulmate.

I'm not sure if this is funny. It was funny when it happened and then a little bit later, but I'm not sure of the general funny-ness of this tale I am about to tell. (I'm reading the Canterbury Tales, so I say crap like tale now.)

I was walking across The Quad last night with Ram and because I am so awesome I was playing with a matchbook I stole from Applebee's. (Yay! Hi, Mom!) I like to light matches. Then I just blow them out, I'm not a pyro for fuck's sake. Just a nerd who likes to go, "Oooh, I can make fire!" So, I'd light a match and then it would go out and I'd light another. Woo.

When we got to the end of The Quad, a guy was headed towards us who was totally doing THE SAME EXACT THING! Being the huge nerd I am, I said something along the lines of, "Oh my god, I'm playing with matches too! Look at me! We are soulmates! Matches are FUN!"

However, I think the guy was very drunk or something because he didn't even look at me or appear to have heard me and I was pretty loud. Either that or he rejected my offer of soulmate-ism, but I don't think so because I am awesome and also because it is too sad for me to think about getting rejected by that douche.

I hope that was mildly amusing for you all, my 4 readers! I'm moving up! I got 4!

Won't you be my neighbor?

Please be my neighbor. Please! The ones I have now I may kill. I have mentioned them before. They are loud, they listen to techno and their speakers appear to be right on the other side of the wall from my bed. Usually, they are loud at reasonable times, but a couple times they aren't. For instance, once they played their shitty techno really loud at like 2 a.m. on a Wednesday night or something. But I just knocked on the wall and they turned it down.

However, last night they took asshole pills. At 2:46 a.m. I was awoken to screaming and laughing and talking. It was SO damn loud. It even woke Tina up and her bed is not on top of the shared wall. I waited, but they kept being really loud and it was impossible to sleep, so I knocked on the wall. Then all 26 of them who live there pounded back really fucking hard and shouted at me to shut the fuck up and other wonderous obscenities that really made no sense since they were the loud assholes. I was pissed so being the bitch I am, I called security who actually did something! I am glad they did, so I didn't have to get another security guard fired. They called the girls and of course, I heard them screaming about how no one should answer the phone and then screaming about how they couldn't believe security called them. They didn't really quiet down, but they did get quieter and I eventually went to sleep.

This morning when I went to go to class I found a note under my door. This is what it said (in the world's most annoying font):
"Dearest Angels from Above:
Thank you so much for your help the other day. Our roommate was experiencing a particularly violent asthma attack. We were unable to find her inhaler, but God was on our side. It seems that you sensed our distress & knocked on the wall in concern for our welfare. Miraculously, your knock cleared the desk of debris & only the inhaler remained. Thankfully, this was just in time to save our roommate's life. Now, she is still able to raise money in the Race for the Cure.

We wanted to thank you for your kindness by knocking back to let you know that all was right again through the GRACE OF GOD.
Thank you.

In solidarity with the Lord,
Your Brothers & Sisters in Christ"

In conclusion, fuck them.

Now I Get It.

Apparently, I have been failing as a woman! Thank god for this very un-recent article from Good Housekeeping.



I like the be a little gay one.

It's a big picture, I don't know why it is still small when you click it.