Danger is My Middle Name.

You have not known adventure until you have changed your clothes in an airplane bathroom.

Sweet lord, those things are tiny.

For added danger, be sure to experience massive turbulence in the middle of your changing and have the flight attendants (or nurses, whatever you want to call them) turn on the return to seat light while you are topless and falling into walls.

I don't know what to title this.

Today I was waiting in the lobby of my building for Roni. She had to go get money and I was early, so I was just watching people and seeing practically everyone I ever met before. Apparently, the lobby is a good place to meet people. Who knew? I certainly met an interesting guy there today.

I was looking to my left and I suddenly turned to the right and coming through the lobby was a young fellow on a mother fucking Segway. He rode through the lobby, hit the elevator button and reversed and waited for the elevator, all on his Segway. Then the elevator came and he rode in it on his Segway. I immediately burst out laughing. There was another guy coming who had 5 coffees in his arms and he smiled at me and shrugged his shoulders. I assumed he thought I was laughing at him, so I just said, "No, wait until you get on the elevator, you'll see."

I didn't know the Segway was intended for riding to class like 3 blocks away. What does he do with the Segway when he's in class? Does he chain it to something? I bet he just stands on it during class and slowly rocks back and forth. He was such a bad ass on his Segway, he didn't even wear a helmet like is suggested.

You can't ride a bike indoors, why a Segway? Their wheels get just as dirty, just because you ride a Segway doesn't mean you won't roll through shit. Shit just happens. And when did Americans get too lazy to walk?!

The Segway video on that website is really funny. People ride Segways on subways! They go through turnstiles! They conquered their genital warts! The check energy meters! You can ride a Segway and live a normal, functioning life! Except for the parts where you get the shit kicked out of you every day for being a fucking douchebag and when you can never have any sex ever. Not even with your own hand...

Oh my god, I just finished watching the video and make sure you watch to the end. There is like a weird music video sorta thing at the end with people doing "crazy" moves with the Segway like driving them not in a straight line and twirling.

An Update.

I found 2 pink shirts in my drawers thus bringing the total to 29 pink shirts.

The coolness just doesn't stop...

Headphones.

People who wear headphones amuse me. I love when they sing or dance in some way along with the music. It's so very dorky and innocent and we all have done it, but some people just get caught doing much more embarassing things.

The other day I was in my hallway and someone was getting off the elevator and he had on headphones. He was singing and didn't see me until too late. I have no idea what the song was. It went like this, according to his singing, "Smack my ass! Smack my ass! Smack my ass! Yeah!"

I just smiled at him and then went in the stairwell and laughed my ass off. Which was fine until I passed someone as I was alone in the stairwell laughing my ass off...

Mmm, fat,

Today I watched Oprah because it was raining and I didn't have any work to do. It was all about weight loss and getting healthy. There was a guy on there that lost 500 pounds!! It was insane. He just started walking and eating right. I feel like such a girl, but I almost cried. Here is he before and after. He totally kicks ass for being able to do that. If I met him, I would be actually kind of nice to him.

Then they showed his excess skin and I threw up. (He got it removed) He used to get like nasty bacterias and moldy stuff on him because of it. Apparently, he smelt like pure ass too. If you would like to lose weight, then just look at this picture because then you will vomit. Thanks Oprah!

Some people are funny.

I think I am the only person in the world who looks at the little news thing that pops up when you sign onto AIM. I always just check to make sure no one important has died. My sister and I have the responsibility of telling my mom when people die, so she doesn't hear about it like nine months later and then she feels bad that she didn't know they died. This all started because she didn't know John Denver died. I don't know. I don't get it either. But I digress...

My point was that on the AIM pop-up thing they have a Celebrity Look-a-Like section. People submit their pictures and who they apparently look like. Then AIM users can vote on who looks the most like their famous person. It's a cool idea. However, none of the people ever look like the person they say they do. It's so awesomely bad. Like all blonde, skinny girls are Paris Hilton's and all black muscular men are Nelly's. I think I saw a good look-a-like twice on there and I view them everytime I see the ad for it. I am that cool. Here is the link for this week's. There used to be a gallery, but I can't find where it is and the internet is not helping me.

A Call for Help.

Well, not exactly a call, more like a beg for help. I need to make a comic book for my senior project. The subject is gender communications. Basically, I get to make funny little comics about relationships and how dumb both males and females are in matters of like, love and lust.

So, I am begging for ideas. If you have a good story idea, quote, example, funny email forward thing or anything that you think is funny and could be used, please send it to me. I am having a rough time with this and I really need to get cracking. I am having difficulties concentrating on anything, but especially this. Inspire me, please.

You know the screen name.. Thank you!