Reason #533 Why I Need A New Job.

Today I went out to lunch with the other three members of my department attempting to be social and such. The topic was 9/11 and the first Iraq war and their impact on popular culture. My boss brought up the movie Jarhead and asked if anyone else had seen it. Everyone said yes or no and then looked at me. I, being my awkward self, respond with, "No, but I really like that Kanye West song."

Silence.

"You know that song, right? Jesus Walks? It's in the trailer.... It goes 'Jesus walks. Jeeesus walks with me something God show me something something devil.' ...no? The beat is like dun dun dunnnn 'Jesus walks' and there's some rapping and a choir or a gospel singer or something...?"

Dead, dead rotting corpse silence.

Somehow out there that has to be people who would love a co-worker like me, right?

Ugh!

I feel a little snobby about the rant I am about to make, but not snobby enough not to make it.

I really like to read. In fact, I would probably put reading in my top three of favorite things to do. I try to read a book a week, but it gets expensive and I am completely skeeved out by library books. But that is an equally snobby rant for another time.

I like going to bookstores (Borders has an amazing rewards program that I heartily recommend) and wandering around aimlessly to find books I want to read. I am not ashamed to admit that I totally judge books by their covers. I would buy a book because the cover is cool or if it uses the kind of paper I like. But I would also not buy a book because the cover is lame and number one in books with lame covers are books that get reissued as movie tie-ins with covers featuring the stars of the movie versions.

Example:


The book cover is now exactly the same as the movie poster! Aggravating! The original book design is completely lost to showcase whichever celebrity is in the movie. I feel like this discourages some people from buying the book since they know they can just go see the movie instead.

Here's another one that is extra annoying:


"I am Legend" is a book of short stories. There is more in there then the one that became a movie starring Will Smith! (Plus that other cover is awesome because it is creepy as anything.)

I know nothing can be done about this and it must be incredibly exciting for the writer to see their book "come to life" but seriously can we make it so books, US Weekly and People magazine are not indistinguishable? Can't we limit the movie part to something that can be removed like a sticker? Then it makes me less cranky and there will be less reissuing and more trees.

[I will admit that I own two books with movie covers, Virgin Suicides and Prozac Nation, but I don't think either lets the "celebrity" overpower the cover. Plus I don't think Prozac Nation was ever released.]

All Systems Go.

Sometimes my own nerdiness just astounds me and I am really amazed that I can function in society. Albeit, I function very awkwardly in society, but I get by pretty well.

A Clarification.

Wow, okay, so go read the post before this one. I'll wait...

Yeah, I didn't write that. Thanks to Juan for posting a comment and then to Blogger for emailing me when I get comments because I would have had no idea about the post since I don't check my own blog for updates since I am the one who usually does the updating.

"You got a fat asshole," huh? I am totally going to start saying that. I can't decide if I should use it as a compliment like "Hey, man, those shoes got a fat asshole, I love them" or as an insult such as "That [Place I work] has got a fat asshole. Those buttheads."

Hmm, I think I like it better as a compliment, but I tend to insult things more. Any thoughts? Maybe I will just have to see when it naturally comes up in conversation next. (By which I mean, when I obsessively think and try to use it in a sentence.)

Weird Internet spam rocks. Maybe I will take it as a hint to write in this thing again, but I make no promises.

Hello.

you got a fat asshole.

Pointless Complaint

You know what really really really drives me crazy? People who use "u" in work emails. Seriously, it's only two more letters, it's not that much work, you can do it.

Cranky.

I’ve been having that weird, restless, totally useless kind of sleep lately. You know, the kind where you always feel sort of half awake and you wake up more tired? It’s the worst. I really don’t think there is a worse kind of sleep. Well, maybe really drunk, room is spinning, have to hold onto the wall sleep. (Not that I ever have that… Hiya Mister!)

Anyway, the reason I think I’ve been having this crap sleep is because I’ve been having weird dreams about reading. Emails, books, newspapers, you name it, I’ve been reading it. In my sleep. In a dream. It makes no sense.

Seriously, what kind of nerd am I that I read in my dreams and try to concentrate on those words so much that I can’t fully sleep? I need some psychiatric help.