What the Hell

Wow, nothing has ever made me as an uncomfortable as this video, I couldn't even make it all the way through.

Link:

Seriously, I imagine watching Two Girls, One Cup with my parents would be less uncomfortable.

Voicemails I Leave

Hi, it's Joanne from [company]. I need to talk to you about the proof you sent because whatever you did was really bad. Can you just undo whatever that was? Um, we just kind of hate it. Because it's obviously bad, you know? I mean when I look at it, I can see a lot that's bad which we don't like. Well, anyway, please call me back when you get a chance and we can discuss it. Have a nice day!

Barf.

After careful deliberation*, I've determined that the phrase "using the toilet" really grosses me out.

*Deliberation period was the one and a half years I've worked at a company that has a sign inside every bathroom stall reminding you that it is common courtesy to wash your hands after using the toilet.

Yuck.

Things normal people would know would be gross, but Joanne thinks looks okay and tries, but nope, totally gross:



How did they manage to ruin rice?

I Can't Cook.

Surprisingly good: a kaiser roll with cream cheese on it.

Also surprising is that I even had bread and cream cheese to start.

Sleepy.

I've come to the conclusion that I am an extremely lazy sleeper. If I am asleep in my bed (or the floor where some drunken adventures may lead me) it pretty much takes a natural disaster for me to move.

Exhibit A: My bed faces a 5' x 6' window (I'm guessing at the size, but if I wanted to off myself and jump out, there would be no need to slouch) and every morning there is a blinding amount of sun. Now after living in a basement with no windows, this is extremely welcome, but that sunlight is crazy hot. Every morning I wake up covered in sweat and have to kick the blankets around to get to a nice sleeping temperature. Instead of having to get up to shut the blind OR just in case I may have to move to get the blanket that is now on the floor, I have decided to just sleep with the window open. I shiver myself to sleep instead of having to get up at 6 am and shut the blinds.

Exhibit B: If I have to pee, you best believe that my back teeth better be floating in it before I'll be motivated enough to move. I'd rather stay half awake for an hour willing my bladder to fall asleep then take three minutes to go to the bathroom.

Exhibit C: I used to use an actual alarm clock, but having to move to check the time was too much work for sleepy me so I solved this problem by sleeping with my cell phone in my bed. Also sad, I set the alarm to make noise and vibrate so when the alarm does go off, I can hear/feel where it is with minimal movement.

And god forbid, something fall into the crack between the bed and the wall like my pillow. Screw you pillow, I'll just use my arms, you are waaaay too far away.

Motivation!

I was really sick of the pinkness of this blog and I finally motivated myself to travel over to the template tab, and pick a new one.

However, I'm still working on the motivation to post something.