Official Announcement: I am a Nerd.

I got drunk the other day which is suprising I know because I hardly do that. I mean I am unemployed so I don't really have the time to drink.

But yeah, I ordered six books drunkenly. I am that big of a nerd that I bought books drunk. I don't know what made me order them, but I did.

I got 3 of the books in the mail today and they were pretty random so I went to Half.com to see what the hell I got and I actually did an okay job. Confusing, but okay. I think I randomly picked stuff off my wishlist and that Half.com told me too. However, I bought Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which is really confusing to me because I already read it and I don't know why I would randomly buy the fifth book in the series. I didn't even really like that one as much. I don't know. I wish I understood how my brain worked.

Dancing goats.

Half.com recommended that I buy the book "What to Expect when you are Expecting." I don't know if this is better or worse then when all their recommendations were stories about lesbians and gay culture.

I think I have officially been living at home too long. The sound of people in my family chewing drives me insane. Like I seriously have those dream sequences in my head where you do some bizarre act like drown them in the kitchen sink like in Best Friends Forever, a short written and directed by Juan so I may be biased in my like of it and its influence on my desire to murder people who chew loudly and smack their lips and for fuck's sake, keep your goddamn mouth closed!

I also need a new career aspiration. Any ideas? Apparently, I am not qualified to be an administrative assistant because I don't have past job experience that shows that I know how to type, file, answer phones and be nice to people. Alright, well, I can do three of those at least.

Summer has officially started. I have gotten three mosquito bites.

The Zoo!

I finally went to the zoo! And yes, it was as awesome as I remembered. Because I am me, I take pictures of only the animals with weird problems.

Exhibit A:

Puzzles the Giraffe
Apparently, Puzzles has some sort of weird tumor/goiter/ball sac growing on his chin. As if giraffes weren't funny enough already, in captivity some of them develop these weird thingies on their face. Poor Puzzles.

Exhibit B:

Poor old tortoise who doesn't have a name or a fancy sign explaining why he is strapped to a skateboard. I think it's because he is probably like 100 years old and heavy as shit. I don't know if you can tell, but this is a picture of him when he is somewhat stuck. It was sad, he was trudging along and fell in a little ditch.

The zoo also has these awesome Peter Parker Spiderman monkeys that wall jump and are awesome. I will totally accept one as a gift, in case anyone was contemplating buying me something.