The 2006 Nutshell.

Wow, I wrote something! Woohoo! I was going to make a best of something list for 2006, but I don’t want to hurt any inanimate objects or people who don’t know or care about me’s feelings. So, without further adieu, (I love that word) I present Joanne’s non-numbered list of fun/great/awesome/yay! Things of 2006.

The Decemberists
If I were the kind of person to make a CD list, The Crane Wife would definitely be on there. It’s delightful to my ears and I like how they pronounce certain words all funny like cinnamon. Sin A Mon. Getting drunk and seeing them in concert is never a bad idea and neither is doing it sober.

That Outback song
Okay, so this year I had a total mom moment. I was listening to the radio and was like “Hey, this song is fun…La la la…Why do they keep mentioning outback? Are they Australian? I bet they are. I wonder if they know Nicole Kidman, every other Australian does. Hmm, wait, I’m pretty sure they are singing about the Outback restaurant. Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s a commercial Joanne, you idiot.”

(I swear that is how it went down in my head.)

So yeah, I know nothing about who sings it or if they are a real band or not, but I love it and if I ate steak I would totally go outback tonight because life will still be there tomorrow…

Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home by Nando Parrado
As many of you know, I have an obsession with the story of the Uruguayan rugby team being stranded on the Andes. It’s kind of a sick obsession I guess, but it’s a true story and is way better than most fiction. I read Alive first, but if you were only going to read one of these, I would read Parrado’s book. (If you saw the movie, Nando is played by Ethan Hawke.) I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but it’s heartwarming and touching without being cheesy. I think I cried about three pounds of tears. It really is a story about love and God, but Parrado has such a nice view of religion and on life in general.

PS. I totally would have died within 4 minutes if that happened to me.

Heroes
I like TV. I like watching and reading about it because I am a nerd. Some of it really stinks, but some of it is really good (The Office, Veronica Mars, How I Met Your Mother) and Heroes is really good. It had a weird start with all the over talking and explaining. (I understand the moving images in front of me, please stop.) But it’s gotten much better so don’t be lame, watch it. There are a few characters I could live without, I’m looking at you, stupid Niki/Jessica/DL and Indian guy with all your talking and being dumb, but the cast is large and overall pretty awesome, especially now looking at you, Masi Oka.

The Departed
There actually isn’t much to say here because of the two people who read this you know how I felt about this movie. As odd it is, it’s a good sign when Juan has to change his shirt after seeing a movie.

Nintendo Wii
I suck at sports and things that involve hand eye coordination and balance and skills and standing upright and walking and telling stories, but in spite of all that, I still have fun playing Wii. I seriously doubt actually running around with a tennis racket is as fun as swinging a Wiimote back and forth. Although, having a sword and killing evil bats is probably more fun in real life than in Zelda…

Having a Job
It sucks and I hate it, but I have one and I’m thankful plus I do ridiculous stuff everyday and contribute to society like a good citizen.

Gnarls Barkley
Again, if I were to commit to having a best CD of 2006 list, I may or may not say St. Elsewhere would be in the top quadrant, but besides the music, the duo (look at me with my fancy use of the word "duo") in general is fun. There are costumes! And fake names! It’s like musical theater, but cool! Exclamation point!

Sweaty Robot
You know what, this whole list is based on biases because it’s my list and whatever I want can go on so why not add Sweaty Robot? They make things that are funny and the world needs more funny.

The Internet
Okay, so the Internet isn’t 2006-specific but it makes life so much easier and I feel like we should think about that every once in awhile. Everything you could ever want (and ever not want) is just a few seconds away. It helps me pass the time at work and it entertains me with its words, images and videos. So Yay! for you Internet, high five!

There was lots of other great stuff in 2006, but quite frankly, my brain hurts and I should really get back to work. Bonjour!

News Flash.

I am not dead.
But I am still awesome.

Somethings.

Today things happened:

Thing That Annoyed Me: Mondays suck. Everyone knows that. It's super fucking great when you are finally able to be so in denial about the fact that it is Monday and you have five full days of hearing aids, pardon instruments, left that you can convince yourself that it is not Monday. But then of course, you step into your car and the local easy listening station has to play Monday songs. Because nothing helps Monday pass than being constantly reminded about it through smooth jams like "Manic Monday."

Thing That Creeped Me Out: My boss told me I wasn't allowed to wear my green skirt tomorrow because she loved it so much and she was finally able to track down one for herself. Then she asked me where I got my pants because those were great too...

Thing That Made Me Sleepy: Pretending that my tasks to complete for the next three days actually took longer than two hours. Seriously, it is not THAT hard to title 8 columns in a spreadsheet.

Ears and ears and ears.

Today at work I tied myself seven times in tic-tac-toe.

It was a very entertaining day.

Ask Miss Joanne.

Wow. After applying to over 120 jobs, going on over 20 interviews, attending 3 networking meetings, talking with 2 job hunting "experts," buying 2 pairs of dress pants, buying 1 suit, returning 1 suit, getting 8 rejection letters and 1 rejection email (including 2 for jobs I never interviewed for), and never hearing back after 6 interviews, I got a job.

Thus in conclusion, fuck you motherfuckers, the Joanne Boat of Awesomeness and Hard Work has sailed away. Some other company will be hearing my humorous and witty anecdotes and getting free mushrooms. (Unless you want to give me more money...)

But seriously, some people need to grow the fuck up and be decent. Don't never call someone back especially after they gave you a large chunk of their time and handwrote you a thank you note! Don't be a complete asshole during an interview.

Remember that thing your mother/father/grandparent/aunt/uncle/legal guardian told you when you were a kid, "Treat others how you want to be treated?" Follow that. Just because you are employed, it doesn't mean you are the Crown Princess of Super Special Awesome Fun Time Land.

That's only true for me.

Birth control.

Oh for fuck's sake:

TULSA, Okla. - Zac Hanson of pop group Hanson will marry longtime girlfriend, Kate Tucker, this weekend, the group's publicist said.

Katie McNeil said, Hanson, 20, and Tucker, 22, his girlfriend of five years, will marry Saturday in Atlanta.

"The couple is planning an intimate ceremony with close family and friends," McNeil said in an e-mail.

Hanson and his brothers Isaac, 25, and Taylor, 23, formed Hanson in Tulsa. They are best known for their 1997 hit single, "MMMBop," which helped ignite the boy band craze.

The trio is now working on a follow-up to their 2004 album, "Underneath."

I know no one cares, but I like to share my Hanson news with you all anyway. Especially when it's ridiculous.

Official Announcement: I am a Nerd.

I got drunk the other day which is suprising I know because I hardly do that. I mean I am unemployed so I don't really have the time to drink.

But yeah, I ordered six books drunkenly. I am that big of a nerd that I bought books drunk. I don't know what made me order them, but I did.

I got 3 of the books in the mail today and they were pretty random so I went to Half.com to see what the hell I got and I actually did an okay job. Confusing, but okay. I think I randomly picked stuff off my wishlist and that Half.com told me too. However, I bought Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which is really confusing to me because I already read it and I don't know why I would randomly buy the fifth book in the series. I didn't even really like that one as much. I don't know. I wish I understood how my brain worked.

Dancing goats.

Half.com recommended that I buy the book "What to Expect when you are Expecting." I don't know if this is better or worse then when all their recommendations were stories about lesbians and gay culture.

I think I have officially been living at home too long. The sound of people in my family chewing drives me insane. Like I seriously have those dream sequences in my head where you do some bizarre act like drown them in the kitchen sink like in Best Friends Forever, a short written and directed by Juan so I may be biased in my like of it and its influence on my desire to murder people who chew loudly and smack their lips and for fuck's sake, keep your goddamn mouth closed!

I also need a new career aspiration. Any ideas? Apparently, I am not qualified to be an administrative assistant because I don't have past job experience that shows that I know how to type, file, answer phones and be nice to people. Alright, well, I can do three of those at least.

Summer has officially started. I have gotten three mosquito bites.

The Zoo!

I finally went to the zoo! And yes, it was as awesome as I remembered. Because I am me, I take pictures of only the animals with weird problems.

Exhibit A:

Puzzles the Giraffe
Apparently, Puzzles has some sort of weird tumor/goiter/ball sac growing on his chin. As if giraffes weren't funny enough already, in captivity some of them develop these weird thingies on their face. Poor Puzzles.

Exhibit B:

Poor old tortoise who doesn't have a name or a fancy sign explaining why he is strapped to a skateboard. I think it's because he is probably like 100 years old and heavy as shit. I don't know if you can tell, but this is a picture of him when he is somewhat stuck. It was sad, he was trudging along and fell in a little ditch.

The zoo also has these awesome Peter Parker Spiderman monkeys that wall jump and are awesome. I will totally accept one as a gift, in case anyone was contemplating buying me something.

Odd.

Today a really weird thing happened to me. Basically, the phone rang and I answered it and the following occurred: (Or at least as much as I could remember)

Me: Hello?
Lady: Joanne?
Me: Yes.
Lady: Hi Joanne, it's Aunt Anna.
Me: Uh, hi Aunt Anna, how are you?
Lady: I'm good, thanks. So did you decide?
[Side: I have an Aunt Anna, she is my mom's aunt and she is slowly losing her mind. I don't know if it is dementia or Alzeheimer's, but she asks how old I am and where I go to school every 5 minutes. She has never called me before and I was really concerned about her state of mind so I was trying to be nice.]
Me: Uh...decide about what?
Lady: If you are coming to lunch with me.
Me: Who is this exactly?
Lady: Aunt Anna, Joanne.
Me: Okay, I don't mean to be rude, but you may not be MY Aunt Anna.
Lady: Is this Joanne?
Me: Yes.
Lady: Is this a PA number?
Me: Yes.
Lady: ...and you have a Aunt Anna too?
Me: Yes.
Lady: Well, I don't think you are MY Joanne.
Me: Yeah, neither do I, Ma'am.
Lady: You should have told me!
Me: I didn't know! I was confused.
Lady: Hmm, well, goodbye then.
Me: Bye

Seriously, what are the odds of that? Thankfully I figured out it wasn't my great aunt BEFORE I went to lunch with this lady.

I know there are a lot of Annas, but I like to think there aren't so many Joannes especially Joannes with Aunt Annas.

Sunshine.

My dad and I have some issues, but seriously, I don't think anyone will ever be prouder of me for the weird things he is proud of me for. For example, I can find things on the internet, make columns in Word and type on a keyboard. He is genuinely proud of how "smart" I am. He tells people that I am smart, but of course it's so ridiculous because he is like, "My Joanne is a real whiz at the computer. She knows how to Google!"

I like that of all the things I have done that is what impresses him the most. Forget graduating college and setting a world record for unemployment, I can Google for fuck's sake!

Shoemaker.

Peeps.

Remember those good idea/bad idea skits from the Animaniacs?

Today I had my very own.

Good idea: Eating a breath mint before a job interview.
Bad idea: Eating numerous breath mints after drinking two Espresso Double Shots before a job interview.

My stomach was very unhappy with my decision.

Compressed air.

Righttt, I am supposed to write stuff here sometimes.

Hmm, well, I almost killed a stray cat via suffocations and I am still unemployed.

Yup, that about wraps it up.

I could write the internal rant I have regarding the progression of the Gilmore Girls, but I don't think anyone cares about that except maybe Sara. I'll save that for a rainy day.

In conclusion, whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch whine annoy whine.

Heehaw.

Seriously, who over the age of 10 gets fucking pink eye?

It doesn't hurt like it did when I was little, but it's just bizarre. I have no idea how I got it, but I will gladly rub my eye on you so you can get it too.

I want to go to the zoo. It's a good zoo going time. Well, at least I think it is. Although, I always think it's a good zoo going time. But I really think it is now, it's not super hot so that the animals won't move around and it won't stink like hot shit.

My brain works funny.

She wiped the floor with all the assholes.

Hello. I am supposed to keep this thing updated so everyone can follow my craptastic life so here it goes...

I am addicted to this Splash game and I have no idea why. I like when it all works out and you clear everything in a click. I also am attempting to workout my brain and do those crap Sudoku puzzles sometimes. I get frustrated too easily though.

I think the web comic Married to the Sea is funny. It's by Natalie Dee and Drew Toothpaste.

I have applied to every Communications, Marketing and PR job in the Philadelphia area.

I am learning how to use a sewing machine. I don't understand patterns and sewing lingo so I usually just guess and mess up a lot. It's fun though. My mom helped me make a bag:

I broke my mother's expensive ass, new stovetop thing by dropping a plate on it.

I went to Florida for my dad's 50th birthday and sort of got a tan.

I read a lot of books.

And uh...I think that's it?

Connecticut.

My fortune cookie says, "You think that it is a secret, but it never has been one."

Joanne says, "You suck at fortune telling, fortune cookie!"

Colorado.

Driving the speed limit is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Seriously, it's only 55 MPH on 95! 55! Do the speed limit makers even know how annoyingly slow that is?

I bet really really old men from New Jersey get to decide the speed limit.

California.

It's so fucking nice outside. I heart spring. In fact, I think I heart spring more than any other season.

I wore flip flops and did yard work and sat on a porch so far today. It was awesome.

Yay for warmth.

Arizona.

I think I have officially started on the path to becoming a crazy, hermit, shut-in recluse. I haven't started collecting newspapers or refusing to take the trash out or anything yet, but I'm just...weirder all of a sudden.

For example, today after I took a shower (I don't think recluses do that) I couldn't find my pants. Yes, I totally have a pair of unemployed lounging pants that I wear when I sit and stare at the wall. They are not sweatpants though! I do not believe in sweating especially in my pants thus why I don't own sweatpants. They are cute Old Navy yoga pants that one is supposed to exercise in or something. However, I do not believe in exercise so I lounge in them.

Anyway, I couldn't find my pants and to help me find them I composed a little top ten hit of a song. Here is an excerpt:

We can pants. Where's my pants?
Everybody takin' my pants.
Safety pants.
Safety pants.

When I finally found my pants, I amused myself by singing the whole song with the word pants instead of dance. I am totally including Safety Pants on my new album, "Unemployed Joanne Sings Hits of Unemployment: Volume One." I could be the next Kevin Federline.

Alaska.

I need a haircut. Badly. My hair is starting to look like a cross between Hurley's from Lost and the lady from Dilbert:

Arkansas.

Cool thing to whilst bored: Research your family history from Ellis Island. I found my grandmother's father (on my father's side) and learned really bizarre things from his ship's manifesto. He was a tailor, was 5'10, had a scar by his left eye and came over to America paying his own way with $25 in his pocket. I think everyone else in my family came over illegally.

I'm nerdy, I really like this kind of stuff.

Alabama.

I wrote a long ass entry about my trip to Disneyworld and I was all upset that I was not being flooded with comments about its wonderfulness and then I realized that I saved it as a draft and didn't publish it. You all are forgiven.

I don't feel like posting it anymore though. It was lame. Instead I say: I saw an elephant pee!

I want to go to the zoo. Or get a pet. I bet if I got a pet, I'd get a job and then I'd have to return the pet and everyone at the pet adoption place would hate me.

Seriously, joke's over people. You can hire me now. I saw an elephant pee! I'm ready.

Losing an eye.

Yesterday I actually left my house! I know you're jealous, but don't be. Anyway, I was driving in Delaware and I swear to god I saw Elijah Wood's twin driving a Marauder. I didn't know what a Marauder was by sight by the way. I had to look to see what kind of car it was.

Hee, the Anal Marauder. Fun game for anyone who I haven't already told 900 times: When in the car and bored amuse yourself by putting the word "Anal" in front of car names. Sometimes not funny, sometimes pretty pretty funny. For instance, the Anal Explorer, the Anal Ranger, and the Anal Avalanche are a few I can think of right now. Thanks Thisbe Nissen for sharing the fun.

I have been watching Grey's Anatomy Season 1 on DVD. I'm a little behind on the trend, but I'm catching up due to Sara's prodding. It's good. Although I will always and forever remember Patrick Dempsey as "uncool" Ronald from Can't Buy Me Love. I love that movie. I love the '80's.

I'm peacing out to go to Disneyworld. Well, if I ever pack I am going. Blah.

Arrive alive.

Random.

On Sunday night, I was in a taxi with Juan, Ram and Chris that got rear ended by a drunk driver. (Not hard at all luckily.) The guy took out a one way street sign and drove on the wrong side of the road before he hit us in his somewhat new looking car. It was a very odd experience. I never saw anyone get handcuffed in person before.

The cops were very adamant about the man serving his time for his extremely idiotic and irresponsible behavior. The drunk guy told them he had drank 2 forties before driving.

I hate titling these.

Last night I had a dream that I was at a party for the Curious George movie and I was hanging out with Jack Johnson. I was groupie-ing out over Jack and was like, "Oh my god, so you like know Curious George? Can you introduce me? What big muscles you have! Tee-hee."

The weird part is that I don't think I've ever seen Jack Johnson before, but I googled him and he looked exactly like he did in my dream. He was however wearing super tiny shorts in my dream. I guess I've seen him somewhere before and just didn't remember. I'm not even really that familar with his music, just some stuff that Christina played last year.

And in case you're wondering about what kind of dream groupie I am, I totally made out with Jack Johnson to meet Curious George.

Skeevy.

Ew, I'm grossed out I bought a book on Half.com and the seller definitely lied because the book is not in very good condition and does not have "slight wear from reading." It's dirty and gross and the cover looks like it went through a dog's intestinal tract.

Even though in the 5-ish years I've been using Half.com and eBay this is the first time I ever bought something that grossed me out to the extent of being unable to touch the item I still may have difficulty buying something from there next time.

I want a taco.

I have two new rejection letters to add to my collection of proof of failure at life. Pretty soon, I'm going to be able to wallpaper something with them all. However, I also have a telephone chat, an interview and a breakfast meeting to add to the potentially going to be added to my collection of proof of failure at life collection.

On a happy note, I do get to Disneyworld for 3 days for my mom's XX birthday. She can no longer claim to be 29 since her children are 25 and 22 so we are just doing X's now. Yay for wholesome family fun and $59 Southwest airfare!

Oklahoma!

I'm not dead. I just have nothing to say. Well, really nothing positive to say. I have a lot of blog entries saved where I just bitch a lot, but they are pretty boring.

Anyone have any suggestions of interesting things I could discuss?

Moo.

I Spy.

Okay, so apparently this whole PR thing isn't working out. Any suggestions as to what career I can fail at before I even get to start next? I think I'm going to aim low and go for like a elementary school bus driver.

Everyone should visit Sweaty Robot because it is funny and you will laugh. If you don't laugh, you are not in the "target demographic" and I didn't mean for you to visit. Sillies. After you laugh, pass it on to other people who like to laugh because laughing is fun, but not sharing laughing causes you to lose an eye or possibly an arm. I think Harris Malden is my favorite although I have LOLed at all of the videos.

I fail at being a girl, Part 356

I really wanted some grilled cheese today so I decided to go make myself some because I am an independent woman. (Throw your hands up at me.) I have made grilled cheese before, but I didn't really remember the proper cheese grilling procedure. I just decided to wing it. And of course, I failed miserably. I kinda sorta left the pan on the stovetop unattended and when I came back the entire pan was filled with flames. I put a lid on it to smother the raging fire, but the sandwich was lost forever. After I pried the cheesy goo and burnt sangwich off, this is what remains of the pan:



My whole house smells like burning. The burnt sandwich was buried in the family trash can. RIP My cheesy buddy

Thriller.

Today it took me nine minutes to eat one pretzel.

They hurt my teeth.

It's Wednesday.

Sigh.

Cowboys Make Better Lovers.

I saw Brokeback Mountain this weekend. Twice. It was really fucking good. I don't normally gush about movies too much, but it was one of the best movies I've seen. It kept my complete attention the entire time even despite sitting on the floor in the aisle the first time I saw it and immature assholes laughing and making jokes throughout the second time. I shushed them like a mom at one point though.

The story is really well told and well acted. I cried like a big girl both times. Heath Ledger (Side Bar: I totally love 10 Things I Hate About You) and Jake Gyllenhaal were perfect and Michelle Williams has come a long ass way from her Dawson's Creek days. Plus it's just a pretty movie. I don't know anything about movie technical stuff, but the scenes were very postcard-esque. Like the images on screen were set-up and organized well like a photograph. I don't know what that is called in the film world or if that even makes sense.

Everyone should go see it and not be stupid assholes about it being "gay."

Doowop.

I hate hate hate how in the Winter the air is all dry and everytime you touch something you get shocked. I especially hate how in my head I'm always like, "Nope, it won't happen this time. Let me grab that doorknob....Ugh!" It's not like it hurts, it just annoys me.

Some of the Smartest People are Crazy.

This is my post where I make ramblings about things that are somewhat associated with each other. Woo! My brain is trying to be more organized.

I have a guilty obsession with Check Up On It by Beyonce. I don't know why, but I heard it on the radio and then I had to get it and listen to it 856 times in a row.

I find it somewhat comforting that you can always find Kelly Clarkson playing on some radio station. I don't necessarily like Kelly Clarkson, but for some reason knowing Kelly Clarkson is a constant in the world is nice. I do like to sing loudly and off-key to Since You've Been Gone (or U Been Gone or whatever it is called.)

Did something happen to Fat Joe? I have heard that motherfucking What's Love (Or Luv) song 5 times in my last 4 car trips. It gets in my head and I can't get it out and then Beyonce gets upset that I am cheating on her and then Kelly Clarkson comes and tells us it's a moment like this that we've been waiting for and Beyonce tells her to go smoke some more pot and put on some shoes. It's quite a mess in my head sometimes and I think I'm getting more and more crazy from being unemployed.

I think I scared y'all enough for one day...

(Credit for the title of this post goes to Heather.)

Have a nice day.

One of my 5 lovely readers (I'm looking at YOU, Domenica) told me I was slacking on the ramblings lately so this is my attempt to stop slacking.

I'm pretty boring lately which is unfortunate for y'all who still read this. I have been on two job interviews this week and I have another one on Friday. As Sara said when it rains, it pours. However, for her it's pouring job offers instead of awkward meetings where she rambles about bullshit with strangers and says stupid things. Yay for Sara though, she deserves it. Congrats!

Because of the job interviews I have brushed my hair two days in a row! I don't think that's happened since high school or freshmen year of college. I always feel bad when I go to interviews with nice hair that doesn't look like two pigeons had dirty kinky pigeon sex in it and then got chased by a half crazed wombat through it. If I got the job, it would not look that pretty very often. Maybe once a week, twice if I liked them.

I hope people just hire me and don't want to do second interviews because then I'd have to buy another pair of pants. I feel weird wearing skirts on interviews. I don't know why, but I do. It's not like I'd wear a short skirt. It's weird because before about two summers ago, I would never ever wear a skirt above my knees at all. I don't know what finally made me start to wear shorter skirts. I think it just got really hot one day.

I'm reading this book right now. It has some funny parts. It really just makes me want to watch Freaks and Geeks though. (The author is the creator of the show.) It's kind of weird because I don't think I've ever gotten into a guy's head so much. Although, I'm not sure if the author counts as a "normal" guy.

I ordered some other books off Half.com for super cheap because the library in town scares me. First, I'm scared I am going to see someone I knew when I was like 7 years old and have to talk to them. Or worse, someone who knows my parents who I'll have to talk to. Second, their book selection used to be super horrible. I don't know if it got any better, but I just imagine 856 copies of The DaVinci Code and the same old dusty Sweet Valley High books I read back in the day. Thirdly, I think I owe them like 90 bucks for some late charge.

My brain hurts. Is that good, Domenica?

Flaven!

I totally saw people do lines of coke off a Dodge City machine in a crowded bar. They were in a corner, but no attempt was made to hide what they were doing.

These college kids today...

This is why I don't leave the house.

Today I went to buy milk at the local Landhope. When I went up to pay, I tried to go to the nice smiley old man, but this other cashier called me over to her line. Of course, she was the scary crack addict kind of cashier. While I was waiting for her to ring up my $1.79 purchase and give me a receipt, she was talking to a girl standing next to the cashier booth thingy and of course, it took forever because god forbid she stop talking for 3 fucking seconds and do her job. This is their conversation:

Cracky McGee: My boyfriend is older. Like 10 years older.
Other girl: That's not too bad.
Cracky McGee: I like them older though. They do it better.
Other girl: (Doesn't hear Cracky) What?
Cracky McGee: He fucks me better.
Cracky McGee: (To me) You know?
Me: Uh, I like milk! No want receipt!

I felt like such a mom, but INAPPROPRIATE!

Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern

I lied before when I said my next post would be funny. HA! Instead my next post will be this and you all will laugh and cheer and make altars to my words. Or just skim through it and quickly shut the window.

But yeah, does anybody have any good book suggestions? I'm bored and I already read the entire Internet so I'm moving on to books. I like both non-fiction and fiction. I don't like stuff I have to read with a dictionary. My favorite book is Gone With the Wind, but that's not an accurate description of what I usually read. (By the way, has anyone seen my copy? I think my bed ate it.) A lot of history based stuff bores me because I can't remember details and I get confused.

So, yeah, pretty much anything that isn't for fancy smarty pants people because I am not one of them.

Sigh.

It's 2006. I think I'm supposed to be all, "Woo! It's a new year, yay!" but I really just don't care. My only concern is that 2006 is better than 2005 which shouldn't be too hard. However, for the first three days of 2006, I haven't done anything except sleep a lot. It's the year of laziness so far.

I'll try to think of something funny and somewhat positive for the next time I write here.