The 2006 Nutshell.

Wow, I wrote something! Woohoo! I was going to make a best of something list for 2006, but I don’t want to hurt any inanimate objects or people who don’t know or care about me’s feelings. So, without further adieu, (I love that word) I present Joanne’s non-numbered list of fun/great/awesome/yay! Things of 2006.

The Decemberists
If I were the kind of person to make a CD list, The Crane Wife would definitely be on there. It’s delightful to my ears and I like how they pronounce certain words all funny like cinnamon. Sin A Mon. Getting drunk and seeing them in concert is never a bad idea and neither is doing it sober.

That Outback song
Okay, so this year I had a total mom moment. I was listening to the radio and was like “Hey, this song is fun…La la la…Why do they keep mentioning outback? Are they Australian? I bet they are. I wonder if they know Nicole Kidman, every other Australian does. Hmm, wait, I’m pretty sure they are singing about the Outback restaurant. Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s a commercial Joanne, you idiot.”

(I swear that is how it went down in my head.)

So yeah, I know nothing about who sings it or if they are a real band or not, but I love it and if I ate steak I would totally go outback tonight because life will still be there tomorrow…

Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home by Nando Parrado
As many of you know, I have an obsession with the story of the Uruguayan rugby team being stranded on the Andes. It’s kind of a sick obsession I guess, but it’s a true story and is way better than most fiction. I read Alive first, but if you were only going to read one of these, I would read Parrado’s book. (If you saw the movie, Nando is played by Ethan Hawke.) I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but it’s heartwarming and touching without being cheesy. I think I cried about three pounds of tears. It really is a story about love and God, but Parrado has such a nice view of religion and on life in general.

PS. I totally would have died within 4 minutes if that happened to me.

Heroes
I like TV. I like watching and reading about it because I am a nerd. Some of it really stinks, but some of it is really good (The Office, Veronica Mars, How I Met Your Mother) and Heroes is really good. It had a weird start with all the over talking and explaining. (I understand the moving images in front of me, please stop.) But it’s gotten much better so don’t be lame, watch it. There are a few characters I could live without, I’m looking at you, stupid Niki/Jessica/DL and Indian guy with all your talking and being dumb, but the cast is large and overall pretty awesome, especially now looking at you, Masi Oka.

The Departed
There actually isn’t much to say here because of the two people who read this you know how I felt about this movie. As odd it is, it’s a good sign when Juan has to change his shirt after seeing a movie.

Nintendo Wii
I suck at sports and things that involve hand eye coordination and balance and skills and standing upright and walking and telling stories, but in spite of all that, I still have fun playing Wii. I seriously doubt actually running around with a tennis racket is as fun as swinging a Wiimote back and forth. Although, having a sword and killing evil bats is probably more fun in real life than in Zelda…

Having a Job
It sucks and I hate it, but I have one and I’m thankful plus I do ridiculous stuff everyday and contribute to society like a good citizen.

Gnarls Barkley
Again, if I were to commit to having a best CD of 2006 list, I may or may not say St. Elsewhere would be in the top quadrant, but besides the music, the duo (look at me with my fancy use of the word "duo") in general is fun. There are costumes! And fake names! It’s like musical theater, but cool! Exclamation point!

Sweaty Robot
You know what, this whole list is based on biases because it’s my list and whatever I want can go on so why not add Sweaty Robot? They make things that are funny and the world needs more funny.

The Internet
Okay, so the Internet isn’t 2006-specific but it makes life so much easier and I feel like we should think about that every once in awhile. Everything you could ever want (and ever not want) is just a few seconds away. It helps me pass the time at work and it entertains me with its words, images and videos. So Yay! for you Internet, high five!

There was lots of other great stuff in 2006, but quite frankly, my brain hurts and I should really get back to work. Bonjour!

News Flash.

I am not dead.
But I am still awesome.

Somethings.

Today things happened:

Thing That Annoyed Me: Mondays suck. Everyone knows that. It's super fucking great when you are finally able to be so in denial about the fact that it is Monday and you have five full days of hearing aids, pardon instruments, left that you can convince yourself that it is not Monday. But then of course, you step into your car and the local easy listening station has to play Monday songs. Because nothing helps Monday pass than being constantly reminded about it through smooth jams like "Manic Monday."

Thing That Creeped Me Out: My boss told me I wasn't allowed to wear my green skirt tomorrow because she loved it so much and she was finally able to track down one for herself. Then she asked me where I got my pants because those were great too...

Thing That Made Me Sleepy: Pretending that my tasks to complete for the next three days actually took longer than two hours. Seriously, it is not THAT hard to title 8 columns in a spreadsheet.

Ears and ears and ears.

Today at work I tied myself seven times in tic-tac-toe.

It was a very entertaining day.

Ask Miss Joanne.

Wow. After applying to over 120 jobs, going on over 20 interviews, attending 3 networking meetings, talking with 2 job hunting "experts," buying 2 pairs of dress pants, buying 1 suit, returning 1 suit, getting 8 rejection letters and 1 rejection email (including 2 for jobs I never interviewed for), and never hearing back after 6 interviews, I got a job.

Thus in conclusion, fuck you motherfuckers, the Joanne Boat of Awesomeness and Hard Work has sailed away. Some other company will be hearing my humorous and witty anecdotes and getting free mushrooms. (Unless you want to give me more money...)

But seriously, some people need to grow the fuck up and be decent. Don't never call someone back especially after they gave you a large chunk of their time and handwrote you a thank you note! Don't be a complete asshole during an interview.

Remember that thing your mother/father/grandparent/aunt/uncle/legal guardian told you when you were a kid, "Treat others how you want to be treated?" Follow that. Just because you are employed, it doesn't mean you are the Crown Princess of Super Special Awesome Fun Time Land.

That's only true for me.

Birth control.

Oh for fuck's sake:

TULSA, Okla. - Zac Hanson of pop group Hanson will marry longtime girlfriend, Kate Tucker, this weekend, the group's publicist said.

Katie McNeil said, Hanson, 20, and Tucker, 22, his girlfriend of five years, will marry Saturday in Atlanta.

"The couple is planning an intimate ceremony with close family and friends," McNeil said in an e-mail.

Hanson and his brothers Isaac, 25, and Taylor, 23, formed Hanson in Tulsa. They are best known for their 1997 hit single, "MMMBop," which helped ignite the boy band craze.

The trio is now working on a follow-up to their 2004 album, "Underneath."

I know no one cares, but I like to share my Hanson news with you all anyway. Especially when it's ridiculous.

Official Announcement: I am a Nerd.

I got drunk the other day which is suprising I know because I hardly do that. I mean I am unemployed so I don't really have the time to drink.

But yeah, I ordered six books drunkenly. I am that big of a nerd that I bought books drunk. I don't know what made me order them, but I did.

I got 3 of the books in the mail today and they were pretty random so I went to Half.com to see what the hell I got and I actually did an okay job. Confusing, but okay. I think I randomly picked stuff off my wishlist and that Half.com told me too. However, I bought Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which is really confusing to me because I already read it and I don't know why I would randomly buy the fifth book in the series. I didn't even really like that one as much. I don't know. I wish I understood how my brain worked.