Won't you be my neighbor?

Please be my neighbor. Please! The ones I have now I may kill. I have mentioned them before. They are loud, they listen to techno and their speakers appear to be right on the other side of the wall from my bed. Usually, they are loud at reasonable times, but a couple times they aren't. For instance, once they played their shitty techno really loud at like 2 a.m. on a Wednesday night or something. But I just knocked on the wall and they turned it down.

However, last night they took asshole pills. At 2:46 a.m. I was awoken to screaming and laughing and talking. It was SO damn loud. It even woke Tina up and her bed is not on top of the shared wall. I waited, but they kept being really loud and it was impossible to sleep, so I knocked on the wall. Then all 26 of them who live there pounded back really fucking hard and shouted at me to shut the fuck up and other wonderous obscenities that really made no sense since they were the loud assholes. I was pissed so being the bitch I am, I called security who actually did something! I am glad they did, so I didn't have to get another security guard fired. They called the girls and of course, I heard them screaming about how no one should answer the phone and then screaming about how they couldn't believe security called them. They didn't really quiet down, but they did get quieter and I eventually went to sleep.

This morning when I went to go to class I found a note under my door. This is what it said (in the world's most annoying font):
"Dearest Angels from Above:
Thank you so much for your help the other day. Our roommate was experiencing a particularly violent asthma attack. We were unable to find her inhaler, but God was on our side. It seems that you sensed our distress & knocked on the wall in concern for our welfare. Miraculously, your knock cleared the desk of debris & only the inhaler remained. Thankfully, this was just in time to save our roommate's life. Now, she is still able to raise money in the Race for the Cure.

We wanted to thank you for your kindness by knocking back to let you know that all was right again through the GRACE OF GOD.
Thank you.

In solidarity with the Lord,
Your Brothers & Sisters in Christ"

In conclusion, fuck them.