Under Where?

God, I am like so clever and smart and funny! This is a post about underwear and I made the title Under Where? God, seriously, how can you people stand to hang out with me? I am too awesome...

Today, Christina and I went to Victoria's Secret to buy underwear. She just likes underwear, but I needed some because I think someone stole mine from the dryer in Crossings. I used to have enough to go about 4 weeks, but somehow I dropped down to about 2 weeks. (By the way, I own more than 14 pairs of underwear, but some of it I hate and don't like to wear unless I have to and sometimes I have to be in the right mind frame to wear a certain pair and then other times it depends on the bra...and that is WAY too much information about the cotton that covers my ass. I digress...)

So yeah, it's the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Secret Sale and stuff is pretty cheap compared to the normal ridiculous prices. The only catch is that you have to rifle around in these bins digging through stuff with all these other women clamoring all over you. In this kind of situation it's bad to be average sized because everyone else is too and they are all digging around you trying to steal the underwears you like.

As Christina said this is one of the few situations where you will find women up to their elbows in panties. The conversations people have are really weird too. I heard these two women discussing "thong marks." Apparently, VS thongs leave marks on the one lady. Instead of thinking maybe she should try a bigger size the lady said she pads herself. I have no idea what that means, and I didn't want to think about it. VS has some weird ass underwear too. Look and look again. How are they sexy? Do I need a penis to find those hot? They just make me laugh. We also found one completely made out of fake diamonds, but I can't find it on the site.

Oh, man. Can someone buy me these? I'd never wear it ever, but it makes music!! Someone get married so I can buy it for them.

Oh, and, by the way, someone hire me. Please!