Some people are funny.

I think I am the only person in the world who looks at the little news thing that pops up when you sign onto AIM. I always just check to make sure no one important has died. My sister and I have the responsibility of telling my mom when people die, so she doesn't hear about it like nine months later and then she feels bad that she didn't know they died. This all started because she didn't know John Denver died. I don't know. I don't get it either. But I digress...

My point was that on the AIM pop-up thing they have a Celebrity Look-a-Like section. People submit their pictures and who they apparently look like. Then AIM users can vote on who looks the most like their famous person. It's a cool idea. However, none of the people ever look like the person they say they do. It's so awesomely bad. Like all blonde, skinny girls are Paris Hilton's and all black muscular men are Nelly's. I think I saw a good look-a-like twice on there and I view them everytime I see the ad for it. I am that cool. Here is the link for this week's. There used to be a gallery, but I can't find where it is and the internet is not helping me.

A Call for Help.

Well, not exactly a call, more like a beg for help. I need to make a comic book for my senior project. The subject is gender communications. Basically, I get to make funny little comics about relationships and how dumb both males and females are in matters of like, love and lust.

So, I am begging for ideas. If you have a good story idea, quote, example, funny email forward thing or anything that you think is funny and could be used, please send it to me. I am having a rough time with this and I really need to get cracking. I am having difficulties concentrating on anything, but especially this. Inspire me, please.

You know the screen name.. Thank you!

More demons.

There is something coming out of her stomach, right? Other people can see it also? And that like string hanging? Is it some sort of medical pack? Then I'd feel bad...I hope it's like a fake penis or something instead, then I'd feel MUCH better.

Seriously, what the hell is that thing?

Cough.

We have already established that I am a horrible person, so I am just going to come out and say this. I think there are people that you can tell you are going to hate. There is just something about them that sends a message to you brain saying,"STAY AWAY! YOU'LL HATE THEM!"

I think these two may be a part of that. Between them, they are not wearing one whole shirt. Maybe boys will find them attractive, but they just scare me. I think it is much more attractive when girls just don't plop their boobs on the bar in desperation to get attention. You can dress up and be cute. Do not give into the Dark Side of Boob and Midriff Baring! You can show some, but please set some limits, folks! Girl on Right's rib cage is trying desperately to get away from her and is actually attempting to escape from her body. You know it's bad when your own rib cage hates you!

Boo.

SNL is very not funny lately. Much like me, apparently.

The Next American Idol.

I like to sing. As of late, I especially like to sing a weird array of songs, mostly from musicals and Disney movies. My favorite, however, is to sing songs from "Once More With Feeling," the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Which by the way, I don't give a fuck if you don't like or think is uncool, if I cared what people thought was cool I'd...I don't know what I'd be doing, but it would probably involve Uggs, and my point is shut up.)

When I sing these songs, I do it very loudly and I really get into it. I walk through the fire with Buffy, I want to be part of a whole new world with Aladdin and I want Prince Eric to get over himself and kiss Ariel already. Also, I can not carry a tune to save my life. Apparently, I have not just been singing for myself. I have a fan club! The apartment next to me can hear me sing as well. Yesterday after I did a truly wonderful version of "Walk Through the Fire," they turned up their stereo as loud as possible and played the song. Then they laughed. Then me and Roni listened with glasses through the wall. However, that whole glasses thing didn't really work and we couldn't hear anything.

I am embarrassed about it, but these people listen to TECHNO all day and night and their speakers are a hell of a lot louder than mine. Our walls shake and all I hear is bass of crappy sounding music. For god's sake, one day I woke up to Lindsay Lohan singing repeatedly for hours.

If you need me, I'll be over here singing a little song to my adoring fans.

Yummy.

"Hello. I am a 35 year old investment banker/demon and I eat babies. Oh yeah, I also bring my mother to bars with me. She helps me pick up men so I can take them back to my place and eat their souls. She keeps their carcasses in a freezer in her basement. She also keeps Fudgesicles and Twin Pops in there for me as special treats. Yum, thanks Mom."

Again, I'm horrible, but eh, who cares? Special thanks to Roni for her input and humor.