The Next American Idol.

I like to sing. As of late, I especially like to sing a weird array of songs, mostly from musicals and Disney movies. My favorite, however, is to sing songs from "Once More With Feeling," the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Which by the way, I don't give a fuck if you don't like or think is uncool, if I cared what people thought was cool I'd...I don't know what I'd be doing, but it would probably involve Uggs, and my point is shut up.)

When I sing these songs, I do it very loudly and I really get into it. I walk through the fire with Buffy, I want to be part of a whole new world with Aladdin and I want Prince Eric to get over himself and kiss Ariel already. Also, I can not carry a tune to save my life. Apparently, I have not just been singing for myself. I have a fan club! The apartment next to me can hear me sing as well. Yesterday after I did a truly wonderful version of "Walk Through the Fire," they turned up their stereo as loud as possible and played the song. Then they laughed. Then me and Roni listened with glasses through the wall. However, that whole glasses thing didn't really work and we couldn't hear anything.

I am embarrassed about it, but these people listen to TECHNO all day and night and their speakers are a hell of a lot louder than mine. Our walls shake and all I hear is bass of crappy sounding music. For god's sake, one day I woke up to Lindsay Lohan singing repeatedly for hours.

If you need me, I'll be over here singing a little song to my adoring fans.