And so it goes.

Wow, it's been awhile. I went to Florida for a week with my 2 cousins and my aunt. I got a tan. My cousin Domenica got shit on by a bird and I decided that I should probably get puppies instead of having children.

I was scheduled to leave Philadelphia at 3:45 and arrive at Tampa at like 6:15. I think I got there at about 9:30-9:45. I had to sit on the plane on the runway forever. If there is lightning within 5 miles of the airport, you aren't allowed to fly out until 15 minutes goes by without lightning. This delays all planes and causes a huge backup and then US Airways was stupid and we had been waiting in the wrong line of planes and we had to go get in another line to depart. It was very painful and the plane was full and I had a middle seat and I just wanted to read Harry Potter. But, alas, that did not happen. Instead I got to sit next to Cracky McTalks-a-lot.

In the airport, I see this woman who looks somewhat insane and kinda dirty yelling on the payphones by our flight and in my head I was like "Great, I am going to have to sit next to her" and of course, I did. And of course, she was a talker. She opened the conversation by telling me her carry on bag was filled with dirt from
her son's grave.

Basically we were stuck on the runway for about 3 hoursish while we went through tons of bullshit airplane/lightning stuff. During the next painful hours of my life she proceeded to tell me her life story. She is a recovering crack addict (hence why she probably only had like 4 teeth on top and none on the bottom) who works in
Construction management from her home. She has a boyfriend who she loves very much, but only sees like twice a month. She has a teacup chihuahua.

Her son was 23 and suffered a massive coronary whilst driving and died. Which was really sad and I felt horrible for her so I asked some questions. I really wish I hadn't though... She believes that his 16 year old girlfriend gave him heroin, and fought with him so he would die. She then outlined to me how she was going to kill the girl. "I'm going to fucking cut that cunt from head to toe. First, I'm going to slit her throat and let her suffer for awhile..." She hopes that when the girl is dead she will either get custody of their one year old baby or be in jail.

This woman had no sense of how loud she was talking either. Everyone in the plane could hear her. I wanted to die. She smelt funny too and she kept leaning close to me to talk. I think my favorite part was when she offered me a Xanax. She pulled two pills OUT OF HER BRA and tried to make me take one. I told her I couldn't swallow pills.

She also told me where to buy crack at in Delaware and asked me if I knew where the [insert horrible racist word for African Americans here] lived because that is where I could get some crack real cheap. She told me that lately she has been smoking cigarettes two or three at a time to keep herself busy. Oh yeah, and she was also quizzing me on what kind of drugs people do now. She was asking me if we still snorted air catridges. I'm not sure but I assumed she meant those thingies that you buy to make whipped cream with. I don't remember what they are called. Someone tell me. She also asked if I knew what kind of stuff was sold at pharmacies that could give you a rush. I debated telling her I was Mormon or something so she would stop asking me about drugs, but after enough "I don't know" responses from me, she gave up. She also made some lovely comments about fat people. Basically, she felt they should not be allowed on planes, buses, trains, etc. with "normal" people.

She was a sad lady and she was living a sad life. I did feel bad for her, but mostly she just made me really uncomfortable during the whole flight especially the murder plotting and the racist comments.

I want to go back to Florida. But I think I need to drive or something else next time.