God Bless Bad Fashion.

At the University I Attend I am currently taking Advanced Public Relations. I know PR is the root of all that is evil and immoral and blah fucking blah, but it's easy and my GPA likes A's. That, however, is not my point. My point is my teacher provides me with hours of enjoyment.

The teacher is Russian or something foreign-ish and because I'm a horrible person and have no idea what exact country he is from just that he has a funny accent, I will refer to him as Vladimir. So, Vladimir apparently has been asleep for the past 20-odd years. The man is living in the '80's. He has the Tom Cruise cut from Risky Business and completes it with a big mustache exactly like that stereotypical crazy cop mustache.

He always wears black jeans and black high top Reeboks with VELCRO at the ankle! I think they are the same ones that were cool in like 2nd grade. His shirts are not very '80's just old man-ish. They are always button down shirts in like dark green or blue that do not match his black jeans, I think his mom probably bought them for him when he boarded the boat to America back in 1981. Today Vlad wore his winter coat which made me squeal with glee, it was a jean jacket. However, it was not just a blue jean jacket, it was a blue stonewashed, bleached, tie-dyed jean jacket. I wish I had a camera phone, I totally would have taken a picture of it.

Vladimir is a gentleman and therefore knows how to accessorize. To complete his daily assembles, he carries his books in a duffel bag. The bag resembles those kinds you could order in middle school or collect when you sold like 856 magazine subscriptions. The girls' was always purple and had a unicorn on it and the boys' was blue and had like a baseball bat or something on it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? No? Okay, back to the most awesome part of the outfit. Vladimir gets up every day and puts on A FANNY PACK. I shit you not, this man wears a black leather fanny pack in public everyday, all day long. It appears to be quite full. I usually spend all of the class wondering what he has in there, because he is the most boring teacher ever. He just rambles and shows you statistics that have nothing to do with anything. (And that's only cool when I do it.) Sometimes he says the word "bullshit" and I pay attention, but mostly I just think about the fanny pack. I've determined that he keeps a framed picture of Don Johnson or Erik Estrada or Patrick Swayze in there.